Cascading wishes

In the grand scheme of things, my existence is meaningless, I’m just a speck.   Yes, I am probably a bit larger speck for relatives, friends, and acquaintances, but I am still a speck.   For some in the family, I could be nonexistent, and so also for the bigger circle of people, I may just about know.

There are only a few people who care about me and vice versa.   I suppose it happens with time and the paths we all take.  Paths can sometimes run parallel and wind up at crossroads only to travel in the opposite direction.  People who travel the same path end up spending more time together over time. Family members who are like friends are more precious as are friends who are like family.  

However, social media has connected these little dots, creating a form of family.   A stage for all and instant relationships.   Also, behind the scenes of these social media sites are the same people who, from the outside, appear to be perfect.  A flawless human being, perfect in relationships, perfect as a friend, parent, sibling, neighbor, and so forth. The list goes on and on. A personification of perfection.  This leaves the genuinely imperfect (like me) wondering how they can be so perfect. In either case, that’s a web with no end or a hole with no bottom.  It’s easy to get lost in there. So, it’s best not to think about it too much.   Wabi Sabi, or beauty in imperfection, is the concept I live by, and it leads to a calmer existence.

Every one of us has those special days throughout the year.   To begin with – birthdays, anniversaries, accomplishments, recognition, sorrow, or grief, to name a few follow during the year. The networking platforms that run alongside our lives (Facebook, Instagram, WhatsApp, Telegram, and so on) contain a lot of memory from the data you feed into their guts.  A member of one of these groups on these social media platforms wishes someone a happy birthday or anniversary, and a chain of wishes follows.   No one, except possibly the first person to wish remembered.   Others simply believe it is an obligation to wish, celebrate, console, and keep the emoji pop-up coming on the group.   Most prime the emoji or abbreviation (RIP) selected must land on time.

After deleting the date of birth data fed into sites like Facebook, I feel so much better since I know that only those who care or care to remember will write down a birthday wish that comes from the heart and can be called “genuine.”   I have a few acquaintances on social media platforms who are no longer alive, but their pages still exist and their photos float about the internet, in a way not leaving this planet even in death.   I surely would not want to exist anywhere near this earth once my time comes to an end and the doors to another realm welcome me with wide arms – I hope!

Let’s head back to the front of the curtain.   A theatrical performance or an act performed with the sole purpose of receiving applause and cheers from the audience.   There are no feelings, sentiments, or emotions attached here. The stage is the world we live in and the façade we put up is the show in front of the curtain. The show goes on.

Extended family groups that span generations are formed by a single enthusiastic person, with additions appearing as members grow and deletions becoming obvious as they go.  Wishes of people who are not often seen or known, but who are united under the term of family.   Digital hugs that are meaningless yet pop up because of a calendar reminder.

With age, and partly because of the speed with which the world is moving, I and many others feel the need to psychologically downsize.  Fewer friends, fewer family members, specifically only those who care, fewer acquaintances, and fewer life hassles.   It is, in some ways, returning us to the inner circle from which we first emerged.   A dot or speck that strikes the center only to vanish into the universe and merge with the horizon to find serenity.  

Cascading wishes aren’t warm, usually, the words are copied from the internet, pasted, and forwarded. They come with a wrapping that, when peeled, sometimes reveals nothing but a vacuum within.  Let us make those wishes genuine even if you are a few days late.  At the very least, you know it originates from the center of the compartment that contains genuine emotions – the heart!

Creative Connections

Connections happen because of a creative thread that runs deep. Well, I realized this very recently when I lost a friend to cancer.

I met her at an exhibition a decade ago, where she had put up a stall of her work. A word new to me—decoupage. She patiently explains to me the process and its utilization. Basically, she was an upscale woman. She would convert junk into beautiful pieces of art by way of this technique, thereby giving it an extra lease of life. Sadly, that extra lease of life was never in her destiny. At age fifty-five, she said her final goodbye.

She was glad she found in me someone with a similar interest and someone who appreciated this skill. We exchanged numbers and then met over cups of coffee. She had magic fingers, and I had ideas. Together, we blended them, creating artifacts that left a feeling of having achieved something.

Despite her struggle with cancer, she kept those fingers busy with loads of positivity, a virtue that spread the aura of “all will be fine.” A smile that said she is good and will sail through these chirpy waters once the storm passes. Exchanging messages and keeping me posted on her progress while I was out of the country was a solace. Her thoughts were in my prayers then and now.

Slowly, those messages were few, and my return to the country with requests for meetings was “seen” but not replied to. I understood her situation, and she understood that I did, too. She will meet him when her heart and mind are ready.

Well, destiny had a different plan. She had to give in when death knocked on her door. That is one messenger who will not leave his task incomplete. Death will not give you space to seek more time because the number of breaths one is destined to take is a pact signed at birth—in every way “non-negotiable”.

Even today, almost three weeks after she left us, the creative aura never leaves my side. So many of the things she has made, many have been kept for her to make, and so many ideas are waiting to see the light of day. I miss this friend, whom I met rather late in life, but am grateful for having met her and being part of her journey for a short while.

Decoupage, defined as the art or craft of decorating objects with paper cut-outs or tissues, is no longer a new word or skill to me. This decoupage friend has left within me an empty, tiny hole that will never find an appropriate cut-out to cover the pain, the loss, and the ever-oozing flow of creative ideas. A mind that understands and is in sync with the other’s ideas, feelings, passions, and thoughts. Sadly, that part of my journey has paused, but her touch on the rest of my journey continues.

Thanks and more is all I can say.

Gratitude and the end of the day

A decade of having had the pleasure

To create from junk—many a treasure

Sunset Cove

Wood Winds, sort of made the whole picture real. Winds amongst woods or the other way around. Either way, it was this beautiful cottage on Muskoka lake – Sunset cove.

A long weekend and a family of seven are all set to enjoy nature. The eldest here, being the grandmother all of eighty-five. With a will of a fifty-year-old in every way.

A three-hour drive and we pull into the driveway. A quaint cottage ( Sunset Cove) bang on the lake. We walk into a house, rustic yet modern. Lovely artifacts are all around the drawing room and the walls. A glass window end to end and the lake is yours all through the day and night. During the day the sun shimmers on those ripples while at night, the reflection of the moon and stars set the stage for a night filled with drama. Seated on the comfortable couch on the inside, I am a winner in every way.

The sunrise brings with it promises, to any part of the world. However, at Sunset Cove it’s a promise to connect and a promise to let go. Let go of the stress or anxiety you came here with. The sun puts his hand forward, asking you to hold on to and takes you on a voyage on this serene lake where peace prevails from top to its depth. The peace that never does cease and beauty without fees.

The green landscape all through the drive reminds you it’s summer and summer is the season of color. Color in attires of people, shades of blooms, and above all the upbeat mood in the air.

Kids who have a break from school, adults who want to indulge, or the elderly who have all the time in the world to enjoy life in the real sense. Speeding the boat on the lake gives you a high every time it bounces on the water’s wake. The winds, sun, waves, and serenity of the water, are a perfect combination for a joyride
A bonfire at sunset, music playing in the background, and hot steaming food from the barbeque, a glass of wine make this experience worth one that is edged in memories and will stay there forever.

A late nite drive to literally lie under a blanket of stars – Torrance Barrens Reserve is the space to be for the experience. An experience to feel small, small in this universe where one’s ego and our entity are just a tiny dot in the big picture. Also, an experience to feel blessed to be born on this earth and experience its generous blessings – ground to sky.

Let’s raise a toast to many more outings to the lakefront cottages in Canada. A land of snow, a land of color, and a land that welcomes with an open heart.
Cheers to vacations
Cheers to kids who indulge parents
Cheers to one life to live and
Three cheers to life itself!

Adhesive never on sale!

You would wonder, why am I writing on an Adhesive? Our world today needs loads of different kinds of adhesives to bond. No, I do not mean sticking together stuff. An adhesive that binds relationships, emotions, and feelings. Google helps us with information and Amazon supplies them. Binders for every product under the sun but a binder that can bind human-related emotions are not yet up for sale.
Every family has the best adhesive, that comes free of cost – Parents. Parents have that aura around them that helps bind and bond. They embrace and value the feelings of those around especially their kids. I guess times were different then and having personal interactions was valued, unlike today when a digital gadget is all one needs to keep company. Most are lonely in a crowd. Friends in thousands on a social platform but none to hear your heartbeat and pulse to laugh with you or wipe a tear. No one outside your door or window who you can see eye to eye. Physical contacts are extinct as they were.
Parents, as long as they are alive have children come together to celebrate joy or support in case of sorrow – the bottom line being they are the nucleus around which these identities revolve. Loss of one parent, most times makes this bond stronger as children feel the need to care for the parent who survives and a sense of responsibility takes over.
I particularly thought of writing on this topic on a day that coincidentally is around the death anniversary of my mother, having lost my father almost two decades before she passed away. These two decades had brought us siblings close, especially when her health began going downhill. Her plight with multiple challenges gave each one of us a goal to find a solution to ease her pain and trauma.
Once her freedom from pain came calling ( death ) somewhere the fabric that wove members of this family together began getting tattered and emerged from these tatters were holes that got bigger and bigger in time eventually becoming craters – much like the potholes on Mumbai roads.
Missing this adhesive that in her way, frail and weak in body but not in mind did her bit of being the ‘binder’. Today, parents ( including me) are not able to be as potent an adhesive as our parents were. Times have changed as it were. Today the world has progressed by leaps and bounds but our hearts have shrunk and our emotions have gone dead.
As they say, life is a circle that ends and begins at the same point. I hope it’s true and times change where this ‘super adhesive’ spills over and spreads its goodness from floor to ceiling. The baton of being a super adhesive hopefully will be taken up by the elders in the family and rekindle the game of bonding without being judgmental and with an unbiased mind. Each one of us is made differently and idiosyncrasies change, multiply with age, circumstances and time.
Hope indeed fuels life.