Buoyant Heart!

I have failed! The report card showed.

My world sank, my heart burst with grief, I felt humiliated, and above all I was scared – what would my family say, what will friends and society say? Will I be ridiculed and made to feel small and like a loser?

Haven’t many of us gone through these emotions as kids and youngsters? Many may not accept it but yes, failure has been a part of most of us.

As we age, our goalposts change and we look back at those very failures and realize how they taught us to do things differently. It also made us strong and resilient. However, then one cannot see beyond that six-letter red highlighted word “failed”.

If today someone was to tell me I am not good enough, I would turn around and say – “yes not good enough for you, because you are not worth having me in your life”. This confidence comes with I guess age, experience, knowledge, maturity, and a great degree of the feeling that I will live my life the way I wish because we have only one anyway.

The sense of freedom that comes with this feeling of accepting failure, if it has to happen is something else. I know by failing in one small part of my life, I do not reach a dead end. I just take a detour and find another avenue to reach my goal, which may be better than the original plan.

Having been a working woman for 34 years of my life I have gone through many job interviews, having changed a couple of jobs in those years. Yes, my first interview made me nervous, because, at the age of 22, you want a job, you want to earn, and maybe support your family to a great degree. Every subsequent interview, I walked in with my head held high, confident, and a body language that signaled – I know my job, and if you do not hire me it was your loss. I found this a great attitude because I never failed any job interview ever.

Today, as I pen down this failure chapter, I am 60 and those memories do bring a smile to my face. The naivety that we feel when we are young, the insecurity, the shame, and the wanting to always shine are really not worth it. Be yourself, learn from a fall, nurse that bruise, and get going. Life is a long journey and one never knows what speed breakers or potholes one has lined up for us.

If someone opens their doors for you, walk in, however, if they shut the door in your face turn back, find another route but never take it to heart.
After all the heart is a tiny organ that carries many emotions and it may not be in a position to carry so much of a negative load. Give it buoyancy by just staying calm, being positive, and keeping alive the hope that the next day is going to be better.

Three cheers to failure because it’s indeed the stepping stone to success!