Gratitude

We have all experienced a period of dissatisfaction that occurs on a regular basis.   This feeling arises from deep within at various periods of life. 

 It just differs in depth and texture.  As children, we were largely concerned with school, grades, teachers, and competition.  Teenage noticed some hints of the opposite sex in this chapter, and it progressed to the employment scenario, spouse, managing homes, promotions, finances, and so on.  It all came down to school, grades, teachers, and everything else surrounding their upbringing as a parent.  A kind of full circle in every way.

Today, where I stand, the whole circle has met at the starting point, and I should be grateful that its shape is not too off the mark, and my circle appears to be as round as it can get.   You’d imagine this is a stage of contentment, happiness, joy, relaxation, and so much more.   But, alas, we are humans, and we are always looking for that illusive mirage. Pursuing something that does not exist!

Nonetheless, I was given a dose of a bitter medicine this morning.   Dissatisfaction on my part vs. the true difficulty that many people suffer around the world.  The one link, in my condition of being unsatisfied that somehow had vanished was ‘gratitude’.

Gratitude for the blessings that have come my way from birth to wherever I am today.   The uppermost tier of this treasure box known as blessings is occupied by good health.

To transport you to the time I experienced this, you must accompany me inside a training room filled with barbells, kettlebells, weights, and other equipment used to acquire strength, tone, and, to some extent, feel fit.  After securing my preferred location, we were all set for a fifty-minute window to BURN more than calories.  A young girl with a stylish pixie hairstyle, black shorts, and a t-shirt stood diagonally ahead of me.  Like everyone else in the room, I’m ready for a good exercise.   Normally, I am not one to look at what others are doing, especially because they are always performing better than me; instead, I attempt to do my best comparing myself to my last session.

To return to her, I couldn’t help but admire her.  She was physically challenged, but not overtly obvious.  Her right hand was perhaps not fully formed, or it was an accident–I don’t know.  Reminded me of Nick Vujicic, whose tale I had read and felt inspired by his grit while being grateful for being born a physically normal human. 

She was at it, all exercises performed, superb form, and with strength that life may provide in excess when something else falls short.  This morning, I made a contrast with her expression.  Confidence, satisfaction, and determination were definitely not 100% within me.  I was mortified, and the realization hit me right in the gut.  It seemed as if a guardian angel was hovering over me, whispering two words to me in my years – ‘be grateful.’

While I may feel my arms or thighs aren’t as toned, while on some days that I’m distracted by chipped nail polish or an overdue hair colour touch , I stand here today on this block numbered 21 staring up at the sky from the window pane.   How naive and thankless can we be?  How we take things for granted and never see our cup almost always half full.

If I have a reasonably long life ahead of me, I would like thankfulness to constantly walk with me.   I also see that life has a way of knocking us down if we get self-absorbed and swerve from the core qualities where gratitude never fades. 

Lessons many on life’s book

Somewhere along the way it falls off the hook

Gratitude fades, we look for brighter shades

Life in time cascades

Until an incident gets us back on track

Realization lands , gratitude returns on the rack

Yoga / Life and beyond

A class on Tuesday mornings.  A wait-listed member (ME)  found a spot and spread her mat for yoga.   I’m sharing my Tuesday musings with you here.

With the normal format completed, it was time for Shavasana.  In more ways than one, this is my favourite.   The most challenging yet easiest.  It’s difficult if you have to go blank, but it’s simple if you have a stream of thoughts.

A little backstory for today.  A message about the death of a lady in the next block, a communication to inform everyone, most likely triggered this cascade of thoughts that burst here on my mat.   Despite the fact that I did not know her personally, the knowledge that she would not be a part of this planet anymore was something that got me thinking.

Who would choose to die? Unless you live a horrific existence, hardly many.   Many of us, like myself, are terrified of death.  My fear of death, however, has nothing to do with the world in which I live.   I am not afraid of parting with material possessions, relationships, or bonds.  As the story progresses, I’ll get to my worries.

For a few minutes, lying there like a dead body (Shavasana) is good because you know when the time is up, Sir will instruct us to stir, become conscious of our breath, turn to the right, and sit up.  It’s described as rejuvenating and meditative.   On a yoga mat, I still need to enter that contemplative state.   I’m doing my best and will succeed sooner than later.

As promised, I’ll return to my anxieties of dying.   I am afraid of the darkness and the trek that must be undertaken alone.  I’m curious if the pyre flames pain because they will burn my skin to the core, does my soul has a heart and mind even though life has ended.  If it does, it will feel, and if it feels, it will hurt.   No one knows because no one has returned to tell us the story of how what we get from the moment you were reported dead to wherever we ended up. I’m curious if there will be boarding gates and sign boards.   What are the requirements for admission to what we call hell or heaven?   Will it be our karma / deeds or the power of our bones that we have left behind on this planet?  Will the genuine and honest receive express access, or will they face the brunt of walking the straight line, as on Earth?  We’ve all had loved ones who have died and whom we missed while we were still alive.  Will we be able to see them again, hug them, and tell them about what they missed?

It’s amusing, but someone has taught us how to be decent in order to get to reach heaven after death.  It is being modified, repacked, reconstructed, and taught to children, and those children, as adults pass on these lessons further….again, adjusted to suit the times in which they live.  Nobody has authenticated it or issued us a certificate of authenticity.  A chain that will continue indefinitely.

If possible, travel alone. If you want to go on an adventure and see a new place.   However, travelling alone after death is unsettling.   Also, as they say, ‘you come alone, you go alone’ which means we have no choice.

Time heals, and the death is inevitable if you have life.   Those we thought were irreplaceable in every aspect are replaced as time passes and life moves on.

It’s time to wake up, feel my breath and shake up, and return to the real world, good or terrible.   As I rolled up my yoga mat to leave the class, my mind and thoughts lingered on the hazy grey line that separates life from death.

Creative Connections

Connections happen because of a creative thread that runs deep. Well, I realized this very recently when I lost a friend to cancer.

I met her at an exhibition a decade ago, where she had put up a stall of her work. A word new to me—decoupage. She patiently explains to me the process and its utilization. Basically, she was an upscale woman. She would convert junk into beautiful pieces of art by way of this technique, thereby giving it an extra lease of life. Sadly, that extra lease of life was never in her destiny. At age fifty-five, she said her final goodbye.

She was glad she found in me someone with a similar interest and someone who appreciated this skill. We exchanged numbers and then met over cups of coffee. She had magic fingers, and I had ideas. Together, we blended them, creating artifacts that left a feeling of having achieved something.

Despite her struggle with cancer, she kept those fingers busy with loads of positivity, a virtue that spread the aura of “all will be fine.” A smile that said she is good and will sail through these chirpy waters once the storm passes. Exchanging messages and keeping me posted on her progress while I was out of the country was a solace. Her thoughts were in my prayers then and now.

Slowly, those messages were few, and my return to the country with requests for meetings was “seen” but not replied to. I understood her situation, and she understood that I did, too. She will meet him when her heart and mind are ready.

Well, destiny had a different plan. She had to give in when death knocked on her door. That is one messenger who will not leave his task incomplete. Death will not give you space to seek more time because the number of breaths one is destined to take is a pact signed at birth—in every way “non-negotiable”.

Even today, almost three weeks after she left us, the creative aura never leaves my side. So many of the things she has made, many have been kept for her to make, and so many ideas are waiting to see the light of day. I miss this friend, whom I met rather late in life, but am grateful for having met her and being part of her journey for a short while.

Decoupage, defined as the art or craft of decorating objects with paper cut-outs or tissues, is no longer a new word or skill to me. This decoupage friend has left within me an empty, tiny hole that will never find an appropriate cut-out to cover the pain, the loss, and the ever-oozing flow of creative ideas. A mind that understands and is in sync with the other’s ideas, feelings, passions, and thoughts. Sadly, that part of my journey has paused, but her touch on the rest of my journey continues.

Thanks and more is all I can say.

Gratitude and the end of the day

A decade of having had the pleasure

To create from junk—many a treasure

Sunset Cove

Wood Winds, sort of made the whole picture real. Winds amongst woods or the other way around. Either way, it was this beautiful cottage on Muskoka lake – Sunset cove.

A long weekend and a family of seven are all set to enjoy nature. The eldest here, being the grandmother all of eighty-five. With a will of a fifty-year-old in every way.

A three-hour drive and we pull into the driveway. A quaint cottage ( Sunset Cove) bang on the lake. We walk into a house, rustic yet modern. Lovely artifacts are all around the drawing room and the walls. A glass window end to end and the lake is yours all through the day and night. During the day the sun shimmers on those ripples while at night, the reflection of the moon and stars set the stage for a night filled with drama. Seated on the comfortable couch on the inside, I am a winner in every way.

The sunrise brings with it promises, to any part of the world. However, at Sunset Cove it’s a promise to connect and a promise to let go. Let go of the stress or anxiety you came here with. The sun puts his hand forward, asking you to hold on to and takes you on a voyage on this serene lake where peace prevails from top to its depth. The peace that never does cease and beauty without fees.

The green landscape all through the drive reminds you it’s summer and summer is the season of color. Color in attires of people, shades of blooms, and above all the upbeat mood in the air.

Kids who have a break from school, adults who want to indulge, or the elderly who have all the time in the world to enjoy life in the real sense. Speeding the boat on the lake gives you a high every time it bounces on the water’s wake. The winds, sun, waves, and serenity of the water, are a perfect combination for a joyride
A bonfire at sunset, music playing in the background, and hot steaming food from the barbeque, a glass of wine make this experience worth one that is edged in memories and will stay there forever.

A late nite drive to literally lie under a blanket of stars – Torrance Barrens Reserve is the space to be for the experience. An experience to feel small, small in this universe where one’s ego and our entity are just a tiny dot in the big picture. Also, an experience to feel blessed to be born on this earth and experience its generous blessings – ground to sky.

Let’s raise a toast to many more outings to the lakefront cottages in Canada. A land of snow, a land of color, and a land that welcomes with an open heart.
Cheers to vacations
Cheers to kids who indulge parents
Cheers to one life to live and
Three cheers to life itself!

Buoyant Heart!

I have failed! The report card showed.

My world sank, my heart burst with grief, I felt humiliated, and above all I was scared – what would my family say, what will friends and society say? Will I be ridiculed and made to feel small and like a loser?

Haven’t many of us gone through these emotions as kids and youngsters? Many may not accept it but yes, failure has been a part of most of us.

As we age, our goalposts change and we look back at those very failures and realize how they taught us to do things differently. It also made us strong and resilient. However, then one cannot see beyond that six-letter red highlighted word “failed”.

If today someone was to tell me I am not good enough, I would turn around and say – “yes not good enough for you, because you are not worth having me in your life”. This confidence comes with I guess age, experience, knowledge, maturity, and a great degree of the feeling that I will live my life the way I wish because we have only one anyway.

The sense of freedom that comes with this feeling of accepting failure, if it has to happen is something else. I know by failing in one small part of my life, I do not reach a dead end. I just take a detour and find another avenue to reach my goal, which may be better than the original plan.

Having been a working woman for 34 years of my life I have gone through many job interviews, having changed a couple of jobs in those years. Yes, my first interview made me nervous, because, at the age of 22, you want a job, you want to earn, and maybe support your family to a great degree. Every subsequent interview, I walked in with my head held high, confident, and a body language that signaled – I know my job, and if you do not hire me it was your loss. I found this a great attitude because I never failed any job interview ever.

Today, as I pen down this failure chapter, I am 60 and those memories do bring a smile to my face. The naivety that we feel when we are young, the insecurity, the shame, and the wanting to always shine are really not worth it. Be yourself, learn from a fall, nurse that bruise, and get going. Life is a long journey and one never knows what speed breakers or potholes one has lined up for us.

If someone opens their doors for you, walk in, however, if they shut the door in your face turn back, find another route but never take it to heart.
After all the heart is a tiny organ that carries many emotions and it may not be in a position to carry so much of a negative load. Give it buoyancy by just staying calm, being positive, and keeping alive the hope that the next day is going to be better.

Three cheers to failure because it’s indeed the stepping stone to success!

Clap for yourself!

Clap for yourself!

Today, December 31, 2022 – is the last day of the year. Three words that resonated with me more than ever – Clap for yourself. 

A fitness class, which I am a part of, ends the class with these words. Today, for some reason, it kept ringing into my mind and the meaning of the words gave me a different perception of our daily routine. 

I speak for myself as a woman, because I have lived my life as a daughter, sister, wife and mother.   

Along the journey whilst growing up, we were meant to follow rules both at home and at school. Studies, good behaviour and respect for elders -top of the line.   It somehow was always about adjusting and not making a nuisance of oneself. I, personally an average student, never stood out in the classroom viz a viz tests, debates, sports, art or extra-curricular activities. Therefore, the question of someone clapping for me never happened. 

As life moulds, you, education with degrees gives you an edge to land a job. Earning chisels you further and self-esteem and confidence take you to a level higher than where you started. I climbed these steps carefully and with every step, found meaning in my journey. I realised it’s not important to have the best student tag or the best grades, but life teaches you to take care of yourself as you flip pages and grow mature enough to handle it. Failures are great stepping stones. It pushes you so low that you end up springing up with a vengeance…..only to succeed and make your presence felt.   

Working woman all my life was a blessing indeed. I stood on my feet, well-grounded and firm. Strong to stand my ground and speak for myself even if it was not exactly what everyone wanted to hear or see. Needless to say, I was not the favourite amongst most circles of the family.  Being a working woman and mother of a single child (a son) has its share of blessings in moulding the mindset of this child. He sees his mother forever being a working woman, independent, confident and able to take her own decisions. This child grows up to be a man who supports and helps his spouse grow in her career to reach professional and personal milestones.  

Well, working life done with and with my boots hung up, my passion for writing has now given me a reason to wake up, dream, imagine, create, and put down poems to share with the world.   

As I receive comments and likes from like-minded around the world, I hear applause – at last someone is clapping for me! A wonderful feeling indeed. 

While we stand here on the last day of another year, with a few hours to go before we call it a new year, I stand on a platform where I clap for myself.  At age sixty, having experienced love, hate, intimidation, insecurity, humiliation, anxiety, and joy – my journey has been the best so far. Looking forward to so much more, now with a different perception and take on life.  

I clap for those I see trying to make ends meet; I clap for the woman who takes one step at a time towards her goal; I clap for every child who fails, yet stands up to take the next leap, I clap for that student who felt she is not up to the mark, yet attends the next class with the hope of doing better. 

Above all, I clap for myself because as I put my hands together I assure myself – this is just the beginning and looking forward to the rest of the journey that will fill my life with experiences that will nurture and nourish my life till my last breath.   

Handing over – Legacies

Am I an achiever? This are for the individual in question to decide. Why should another individual or society decide what is an achievement for me? If I feel good reaching that point in my life – it’s an achievement – period.

In Indian homes, it’s common to discuss with concern, post-marriage relationships with daughters. A mother’s intention is only so that her daughter understands relationships once she gets married. The family she would call “inlaws”. My mother used to always be concerned and think aloud – “hope my daughters get a good mother-in-law”. I used to wonder, why so much emphasis on one lady (MIL) who it seems will be a big influence in my marriage? It was only later I realized that a mother-in-law can break or make a marriage. Break because of her over-possessive tilt towards her son.

Mine was an arranged marriage and since the groom’s family, especially the “groom” wanted a family affair we had a small ceremony at home At the end of the fifteen-minute ceremony we were “married”. I met my MIL on the day I got married. She trusted her son’s choice wholeheartedly. She had seen a tough life and brought up four kids almost single-handedly, because her husband was serving in the Airforce, therefore her outlook on life was not the stereotype. I was lucky! She was a MIL who believed in a live and let live policy. She took care of her life and let me live mine. Be it the house, our marriage, bringing up my son, clothes I wore, or the drink I enjoyed once in a while. She and my FIL would be happy to join in and click glasses occasionally. Hence, I never had a problem that comes with this new (in-laws) relationship.

Fast forward to 2017, I was now married 29 years and my next milestone occurred in the year 2017. I became a mother-in-law. Now it was my turn to break that stereotype and break that myth about MILs. As they say, the cycle of life is circular – I trusted my son’s choice and it was now my duty to ensure they have a good life together. Learn together how to nurture their relationship and take it forward step by step. It was not my business to interfere – Live and let live the policy is the legacy I carry forward. It is obvious, that I cannot become her mother overnight, but I can start by becoming a friend and as we both understand each other better, I hope to become a person she can rely on unconditionally.

I, having given birth to this son and by that virtue, he will always be my son and me his mother. Why should a mother feel insecure if her son brings home a partner? She who will love him as much or more, give birth to their kids, nurture his life and help build a home filled with love, affection, and care. Every mother ought to be thankful for her coming into the family and binding it further. Mothers hand over the baton so that they can take forward the family legacy. It’s so much like a relay race where the first runner completes a leg, and hands over that baton to the next runner -this format goes on. The winner in this race is the team, not an individual. Every runner who hands over the baton stands on the side to cheer and encourage those running the race.

I consider myself an “achiever” like many in my generation who want to break myths and stereotypes that revolve around mothers-in-law. A daughter comes into this family to spread happiness and branch out to create her own little vibrant thriving abode. We, as elders, ought to give a helping hand and allow them to pick the straws of their choice to build their nest. Once instituted the legacy of positivity, support, non-judgemental surroundings, and unconditional love only goes round and round. A circle of life that grows bigger and better creating a better life for all, bringing peace and harmony in more ways than one!

Relationships are like mighty ships
Every hand needed, as it rises and dips
Ropes in place wind to gauge
A team that stays on the same page
Destination new and vibrant on the horizon
This team – A FAMILY, witnesses every shade of the sun!

The Red Spot

The red spot

This is a recollection from the early seventies, almost five decades ago. A young girl all of 11-12 thought she was going to die. The evil had got into her and it was time to say goodbye to this life. She spotted the red dot one fine morning. You guessed right – she had got her first period.

No one had explained to her, not at home nor school, and neither any wisdom shared by her elder sister. She kept quiet for two days until her mom found out. Homemade pads, stuffed with cotton were given to her and she was told “you have now grown-up”. Grown-up? What does that mean, she wondered? Those were days when knowledge was gained from peers, friends, books, magazines, and maybe a friendly aunt. Google was not even conceived; hence the blanks never were filled. A growing mind forever had questions but answers were difficult to find. Well, that little girl was none other than me, but thankfully today many like me have a buddy – Google to clear every doubt. No questions asked on why or when – Google just gives it to you on a platter, sometimes more than what you ask for.

Cut to – this day the 21st century, where knowledge is in everyone’s palm and pocket. Today no one needs a peer, friend, book, magazine, teacher, mom, aunt, or sibling to answer difficult questions. It’s awesome to be born or be growing up in a time where life is so much more sorted. Choices so many, avenues in plenty, support from parents and peers never short and the world has shrunk into the palm, nothing is too far or unachievable.

Children who today have it all going for them, ought to be thankful or rather consider themselves fortunate. However, that’s not the real story. Things, facilities, support, ease of living, etc are taken for granted as if it never can be any other way. The flip side to advancement on all spheres around on which we live.

As a woman, the ability to give birth is indeed an empowering feeling. The capability of helping create another life, carry to full term, give birth, and nurture that individual is not a mean feat. Yet this same female entity is used and abused. The womb is no more sacred. Today it can be hired at a price and some women who, for reasons many, rather outsource the process of childbearing to other women who do it at a cost. The flip side to the pace at which science has advanced

When I was told I was grown up, the implication was that I now had to be careful in more ways than one. My posture should be lady-like, especially while sitting, careful while talking to anyone from the opposite sex (young or old), and last, but not the least even a casual conversation with a boy was looked at with suspicion. Had I grown up or was I bonded for life? If I was considered gown up, why was I not allowed to make my own choices to do as I please? The suspicious shroud would be spun around me, which was indeed suffocating.

Back to the “red dot”.
A WhatsApp message on my phone conveyed a message – A young girl aged around 10 years in the immediate family has “grown-up”. That’s the reason for a flashback to race inside my head. However, so glad things have changed so much from those decades ago

She knows it all, from mothers, teachers, and support groups
She has a buddy called google to fill in the gaps
She has the best of solutions to make life normal on those uneasy days
She knows, this is no reason for her to slow down
She takes it in her stride as the moves ahead achieving her goals
She knows, she is now empowered, to create and nurture a seed to an individual
She smiles her million-dollar smile, every single day of the month/year
She is the girl child of today who is termed as “grown-up” but has the knowledge, grit, and strength to take on life in its every form, shape, color, texture, and intensity.
She is the individual of this century where there is no gender discrimination and she has the platform to prove herself ……not just to the world but to herself!

The “red dot” is not a full stop but a signal that says change is here …..change your gear, get on to the fast lane, and zip past at a speed, your heart desires because it’s now turned green – the freeway is all yours! Nevertheless, now that you are “grown-up” you should know when to slow down or press the brakes on time. Go Girl Go!

A Friend in poems

Friends can be many and of many categories and mindsets. Beginning as toddlers to school, college, and workspaces. Some friendships last a lifetime but many change routes and never meet again. It’s rightly said, a friend comes into your life to teach you something, you learn or unlearn stuff and not every friendship bond thrives along this journey. It’s a great feeling to have at least one person in this whole wide world who never judges you, irrespective of your social, financial, or emotional standing. Lucky are the few who have this thread that connects.

I, personally never really had too many friends while growing up. Probably I thought I was being judged by my looks, my academic graph, sports participation, or my ability to be street smart. I never scored well in either of these areas. Nevertheless, once I got financially independent, I sat on the driver’s seat of this graph and let it move where I wished – upward, sideways, or just positively. That helped me as an individual and also in the friendship department. Made many good friends at work, outside the work sphere, social networks and I learned to connect. Thank god for that – today I can say I certainly have a handful of good friends who will be with me to the finish line.

Another friend who walked into my life by accident and has been with me to this day – Poetry. I wish and pray that we hold hands till I am asked to sign off and call it the end of the journey. A companion with me wherever I go, with me in my heart and mind and happy to pour out at the click of a button – a mouse in today’s world. A very average student, I never imagined I would indulge in writing poems as a hobby. However, I strongly believe fate has its ways and someone up there maps our life, adds milestones and ensures we find our destination after maybe getting lost a bit but hitting the right road eventually.

I must confess that along this journey my family and friends played a big part. Today, as I write this piece, my first book of poems with the same name has been published and is on the shelf. I share with the entire world my work – technology has indeed shrunk the world and words and verses from my laptop have reached every person who shows an inclination to read. I would love for them to critique my work so that we, me and my friend poems chisel our bond to make it stronger and reach a stage where nothing can break us up and our love for each other stays forever.

Life’s journey I guess narrows down the “life highway”. The streets are not as brightly lit, the roads not as broad and those walking alongside very few. It’s during this passage that one needs every dose of positivity, optimism, good physical and mental health, and good shadows in and around who help you stand when you fall or stumble along these narrow lanes.

Besides having a companion by way of a hobby to keep you busy helps a great deal. Most of us keep the hobby in a trunk and lock it since life’s other responsibilities take priority. When one is done with work-life, that trunk, probably unopened, slowly self opens its lid, and stuff from within crawls out. If we hold them, nurture them, and feed them well it blooms into a passion and helps us fall in love all over again. An affair that takes you an extra mile, brings about a smile and helps you see the beauty in mundane everyday routines. My friend poetry does just that we stick our neck out to see what next can be strung together to make a necklace of verses, we give it a name and a story emerges from thin air.

Ever grateful for this mapped life granted to me with many kind hearts who are my family, friends, and wider circle who are my very own.

Dedicated to Daughters

Every culture around the world has its good and not so good parts. The parts we term as not so good today were the normal back then. 

Many rituals and thoughts today seem regressive but when it was in force, probably many decades ago, it just would glide through effortlessly and taken to be the norm with no other options or questions asked.   

The country where I am born, brought up, and live today , INDIA is a pot of varied cultures, religions, languages, colours, clothes, festivals, food, etc. Every part of the country boasts of its unique textures on every front. India is also known for a plethora of religious rituals from birth to death. Even the wedding ceremonies in some parts of the country go on for days together and the festivities just don’t end. 

Similarly, the gender bias was and is huge and even today, this progressive country does have its dark sides as far as giving equal opportunity to the girl child goes.  Changes are emerging and hope the pace does catch up because we have some amazing women who have made a mark in every sphere and broken redundant rules, questioned the wrong, and have not feared standing up for the right and supporting worthy women cantered causes.  

I am blessed to have one such woman of substance in my family. Yes, she is my sister in law, Preeti. She has been the first on multiple levels in our family that’s liberal to a great extent. The first to give her own start-up Synergy a shot, an all-women cab service Veera Cabs driven by only women and running a homestay that has the blend of a rustic countryside and comforts of a good home on the outskirts of Mumbai far away from the hustle and bustle of the city.  

She then plunged into a totally different space, for her and yes, the first in our family. Politics it was. Change for a better system to govern the country. A party run by regular ordinary citizens and who today is an impressive bunch who are marching ahead despite roadblocks to bring about a positive change to a manipulated corrupt system.

The year 2020 has been a year that most of the world would like to knock off their life for reasons vivid, the pandemic that’s created havoc. Recently, we experienced the sad demise of Preeti’s father, a sad day for his spouse, three daughters, the extended family and his wide network of friends.

Uncle, a thorough gentleman, who was happy with himself and his work, ensured he helped anyone and everyone. Whatever the need, he would find a solution, from a vast network of people he was associated with. He, father of three daughters ensured they stood up for their rights and the typical gender bias equation did not have a place in his household. Well educated professionals today and well placed the girls have made a name for themselves. He was always proud of them and would make it a point to put across his thoughts……Who needs sons when you have such amazing daughters? 

Wish my country had more men like him with a mindset that was liberal and accommodative of the daughter’s choices of career or spouses. A family with son’s in law from three different parts of the country, blending to make the most amazing cocktail of love, respect, and affection in more ways than one. 

Hindu ceremonies that are performed on death involve rituals at home, at the crematorium as the funeral pyre is lit, and again at the residence for a peaceful transition of the soul. The parent’s last rites are usually done by the son in the family, usually the eldest but nevertheless the male child of the departed. A moment where this proud father would have been very glad and witness….as a soul would.  

The eldest daughter being overseas was joining the rituals virtually, the second Preeti, and the youngest Shweta were beside their dad, who lay there lifeless, yet had a look of contentment on his pale face. Rituals conducted to the tee at home and the crematorium was a moment every girl in this country ought to witness and learn. Do what you have to because what matters at this point in time is your duty and your connection with your parent that lasts the entire lifetime irrespective of them being around physically or not. A sight that made each one of us in this family proud, of having one amongst us who will do what is right and will stand up to those who oppose her action, citing redundant rules that in today’s world does not hold water. 

So, the sisters while performing their duty, sets an example for other daughters in not just our family, but every family in this country. Children are equal and ought to be treated equally in every way and legacy need not be gender-based to be taken forward.  

Sons or daughters it does not matter as long as the bias is buried and equality is not just in words but in actions.